His World, My Hell, is a book that I wrote which relates to my marriage to a man that suffers from Bi Polar disorder. I will take you on a journey into a year and a half of my life where we will share with you some of the most intimate parts of our lives.
My husband is a great man, a good husband and good father, but there is something inside of him that he can not control. His bi polar condition is something that he has not gotten under control. Although we have attempted many different medications we have not yet been able to find the right combination to help him. It is because of this condtion that at times I fear him and what he is capable of. The last thing in this world I want is to fear the man that is also my world. He is in my blood. He is my best friend.
Trying to be the one to fix everything in our lives has really taken a toll on me over the past couple of years, and to try and shield the world from his disorder was something that I just could not do. Currently he is in prison and we are praying that he is released soon so that we can finally get him the help that he desires and that we desperatly need in order to heal not only him as a person, but us as a family. He is not a bad man, he is a man with a treatable condtion if someone would just listen. Its one thing to diagnose someone, now can someone please get him the help he needs!
My book is not created to offend those that suffer from bi polar. I love my husband dearly and if I had to choose all over again it would still be him. No, this is about making society aware that people with bi polar are hurting just as badly as we are. There are not enough avenues for people who suffer this disorder. Too many people are quick to judge and quick to walk away. No this book is about enduring, ( as my husband says). For me the choice is easy. I will not walk away from him. Yes I have endured alot of ugliness from this disorder. Mind you I said this disorder because my husband when not having an episode is the best man that God could have blessed me with.
I encourage anyone out there that suffers from this disorder or who is a spouse of someone who suffers it to please find help. As a spouse I encourage you to find a support group for yourself because no doubt you are propably at your wits end. I know I was. I had all but given up. Then we were blessed. Ironically with prison, but it was the time out that we needed to regroup, and try to gain as much knowledge as we could before fighting this fight again.