His World, My Hell

Well here i am 86 days from the day that I have been hoping for, praying for, dreading, and living for all at the same time.  I love Leo with every breath in me, yet a part of me fears his release.  Over the last few months we hve gotten so much closer and he is the perfect husband.  He speaks to me with respect, he does not use words that offend me, and he makes me feel secure in us.  All of that is wonderful, but the truth is will he remain who he is when he is released from the gates of his own hell?

I have grown so much over these three years.  I have become who I needed to be, and I pray that God covers me and allows me to continue to grow.  Leo had taken my spirit, my life and my desires away from me, and my fear is that he could again if he chose too.

I have never loved anyone as I love him, and I can not begin to explain why he has me so wrapped up, but he does. 

Life without him is not an option, never really was.  I know that if i had to do this without him I could, but id rather not.

There have been a few people to who have supported me through all this, not many but a few.  To those I say thank you for not throwing his bad side in my face, and for just being there for me... For those of you who believe he will fall when he is home,, I just pray you love me enough to not throw that i told you so in my face should it happen.  Thats the last thing a woman wants to hear, and that is the easist way to have me walk out of YOUR life forever.   Do not wish failure upon our marriage, our life...  Do not hate who we were at one time, do not dispise us for the actions of our pasts...  We are deserving of your suport and love... If we fail dont snicker and laugh,, cuz God doesnt like ugly.....