This story is written because I want you to know that you are not alone. Those of us that have partners, be it husband, wife, child, parent, or friend, who suffers from Bi Polar disorder all share the same struggles within ourselves. The doubt, and the frustration and the pain that you feel are the sames pains that I feel. I know what your going through and I know how badly it hurts to watch and listen to theperson you love say the most hurtful things, to attack you with emotional and physical swords of hatred and contempt. I can no take your pain away, nor can I tell you that in the end you will win the battle. I can not give you the magic antidote for this disorder, nor can I tell you how to feel or what to do about it. For all of that you must lok into your heart. You and only you knwo how much you are will to take and endure. What I will tell you is that no matter what you decide, God will be there for you. Each step you take, he takes with you. He has not left you, deserted you, or forgotten you. He knew you would be here at this time and I write this book for you. To help you understand through my pains and my trials that you are not stupid, ugly, pathetic or worthless. You were wonderfully and fearfully created by God. Through all of this take comfort in knowing that if nothing else.
I began this book several months ago. Leo had taken it and wet it and tried to burn it and now I try to recreate it. It isnt hard to do because the words on the paper came from the memory and so recanting the events in our lives are easy. Leo gave me permission to write this, but the reason he tore it up was because he knew it was my passion. HE will take anything from me that I love. He always has to be priority in my life.
Now he sits behind bars awaiting to go to prison and I have time to refect on our lives and what we did wrong, and how we can fix it now. You will see through these pages why Leo is in jail and you will come to understand that bi polar mixed with the childhood he grew up in are reasons for his behavior as a married man now. AS a child we learn what we see.
People are quick to judge Leo. To say he is a whore, a player, a abuser, and frankly he is all of those things on the outside, but on the inside he loves me, he cares for me, and he wants to do right by me.
We dont know how long those bars are going to be between us but we know now that God is the head of our lives. Had he not stepped in and saved us one of us would be dead right now. So this was a blessing.
These pages will be full of violent acts that may be hard to understand and even painful for you because no doubt you will see a litle bit of your lives in them. I am not dissecting my husband pains or my hurts to creat an amusing story for you. It is a book to awaken awaerness about domestic violence and the affects that abuse mixed with a mental condition can cause. If you are going to sit in judgement of my husband or myself then put this book down. We are not looking for sympathy nor are we looking to be judged. We simply place our pains in front of you to make you aware. We the Coopers are not hypocrites so we bring to life on paper our word, hopefully to touch the hearts of someone affected. To shut the devil down once and for all. To free ourselves from the curse that surrounds our family. One day my daughter will hug me again, and one day Leo ill be able to share a joke with his cousin. One day this family will heal and be whole and if we have to sacrifice our lives and become transparent for that to happen we will.
To read the book you must purchase it.Book now available through publish america. ISBN number is 1-60474-065-5 price is $14.95
Thank you.